Its never a dull moment at our house.
From dress up and playdates,
to having a parade down the hallway,
to whatever was going on here.
(I think Peanut was having a freak out and we were trying to cool her down)
Ya its a pretty crazy life, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
One thing I've learned over the last several years is that my life is different from everyone elses. My priorities are different, my ability to deal with nonsense is different. Not many people can relate to me any more. And until you live this life there is really no way to understand it. My friend Kristen (a mom to a darling little girl with special needs) said it best when we were talking about how much help we need living with these kiddos, "You don't understand this life until you live it, and those that are living it are too busy to do anything to help anyone else." Its true, most people get at most a couple hour glimpse into our daily lives. They don't see the constant care and worry that go into taking care of a child with special needs. They don't feel the stress that is involved in this lifestyle. It is taxing on every aspect of our lives, physically, emotionally, financially. We love our kids and would do anything for them. We are constantly barraged with something. A doctor telling us "the worst." An insurance company denying something or another. A new medical crisis that we've never seen before. But sadly not only have I become used to this, I've learned to expect it. I live at a heightened state of consciousness all the time, which is crazy considering the lack of sleep we get around here. In the beginning everyone offers to help, to be there. But time goes on and life happens and people get busy and then its just us. I don't blame other people, I would do the same thing. I've learned to live on very little sleep, with a lot of stress and heartache, with very few resources. I do it, not because I'm strong or because I want to but because of love. I hear all the time how amazing I am or how strong I am. Let me make one thing clear, I am not amazing or strong. I just have no other choice. If I were given another option, I would take it, in a heartbeat. I'm an "easy way out" kind of gal. I do it, not out of greatness, I do it out of love. I love my child and would do anything for her and have done every thing I can for her with the limit resources we have. So please don't tell me how strong I am, you don't see how much I cry. Just recognize the love I have for my daughter, that's what keeps me going day after day, night after night. LOVE!
0 comments:
Post a Comment